26th Dec part II

So, the photos documenting my success at golf:( my golf ball can be seen in the bottom left hand corner of the pond)

Wednesday 26th December 2007

Happy Boxing Day! Well, I'm back in Blighty - just. Arrived back here on the 23rd Dec amongst some very thick fog, so spent my first hour back in the country circling round Gatwick waiting for a "slot" to land. The following couple of hours were spent trying to avoid the accidents on the M25 caused by said-fog. What a welcome home!

One good thing about being back is that I have a better connection! Which means I have to upload this blog, on average, just the once. Hurrah!

So what about my final days at the ranch? Well, I tried to soak up as much of my surroundings as I could. The volunteers managed to blag ourselves a "volunteers only" ride which was good fun - a chance for us to not have to be polite to guests, ride where we want to, at the speed we want to. And good fun was had by all! Here we are on our trusty horses.....

(L to R: me on Remington, Kate on Tahono, Ines on Pistol and Marie on Cash)

As you can see, in my last few days the weather @ the ranch was truly awful and I'm glad to be back here in the damp fog.

I don't think I have yet told you about my day at the golf course! It should have been just a couple of hours at the golf course but due to my truly awful golfing skills, our 9 hole round turned out to be quite traumatic. Especially for the 2 rather professional looking men who were constantly having to wait for me to finish each hole before they could take their turn.

So here I am, feeling very positive and happy about my forthcoming debut on the golf course:

Just look at the expert way I'm holding my stick! So, it's a 9 hole course, each hole with a par of 3 or 4. I managed to lose 5 balls, one in someone's garden and 4 in the pond. The ducks were not happy with me.

Wednesday 19th Dec

Everyone is poorly here. Except I can't say "Poorly" cos the Americans don't understand that so we have to say that everyone is "sick". Having spent a week working in the rain, cold and liquid doo-doo, I can't say I'm surprised. We are 2 wranglers down today - Mike and Gry have succumed to the fever and taken to their [respective] beds. Carol, Jed and Jimmy are all complaining of feeling "sick" and I woke up feeling pretty pants myself. The only hardy ones amongst us are Kate and Jenny so I guess they are feeling pretty smug.

Deuce (here on the left) is doing ok - his eye is still bad, and infact the vet is worried that the cancer has spread. They are going to try a new treatment on him whereby they put an inplant in his eye which contains chemotherapy and the implant will stay in his eye for 30 days. He is very patient with us when we poke around in his eye and so I thought he deserved a special mention!

We had our "staff christmas party" last night which was an interesting experience for me. Half the staff didn't come. It was a BYOB affair, and bring your own food. Oh, and please bring a present for a secret santa style thingy. After much consideration I took along a RnB dog that sung a christmas rap. In return, I got some candy (aka sweets to you and I) and a musical toothbrush. It was weird as it didn't really feel christmassy and no one seemed in a very festive mood. I think I left the party at about 9pm last night and I had to go straight to bed, I was so excited.

Before I forget, I realised that I spoke a couple of blogs ago about some locals that we met at the pub but I was never able to upload the photos so I'm taking advantage of this moment of connectivity and I'm attaching the shots of the handsome fellas. Apologies that I haven't bothered to rotate the photos but hopefully you can still appreciate their style, beauty and sense of fashion.......

Tuesday 18th Dec

Okay, let's try this again. We've been having real connection problems here at the ranch and I've written and updated my blog on a few occasions only to later find that for whatever reason, the blogs aren't available.

I'm kind of behind on my news now so let's see what I can remember.

Well, the weather has improved and the liquid horse doo doo is slowly drying out (thank goodness). I took some before and after photos of the same view......

I am going to upload this part of the blog now before i lose it again!

Quite a difference don't you think?? The corrall has been so boggy, we have been getting literally stuck in the mud. I have been wearing 7 layers of clothes in order to keep warm and think that this is a most attractive look.....

Wednesday 12th Dec (part 2)

I have more to tell you about, just wanted to get the first part posted before my system crashes again.

We had a team dinner last week to say goodbye to Cissi. We were due to go bowling but the waiting list for the bowling alley was too long so we went for dinner at "Hooters" instead. Now I'm not sure how much you know about Hooters, but basically its' a diner where the waitresses wear VERY short shorts and very low cut vest tops and the rest (what is left) is for your imagination.

The bowling alley was very impressive despite the fact that we didn't get to bowl. Each alley had it's own flatscreen showing MTV or something, the sound system was great and it was all pretty cool. To look at.

After dinner at Hooters, some of us went to Old Fathers Inn for a beer. I'm finding it hard to put into words my thoughts on this place without offending anyone. Back at home, when I watch the Jerry Springer show, I often wonder where they find the people to go on the show. I now think I know the answer. Quite a few drunk rednecks staggering round, 2 mad girls jumping around the "dancefloor" to the live band, lots of guys playing pool and then at the other end of the bar, about 15 TVs showing live coverage of greyhound racing from around the states. $2 a bet we decided to try our luck. There were 5 of us, 7 dogs in each race and we each chose a different dog. 5 races down, not one of us had one anything. Now what are the odds for that? Gry then broke the spell and came in first and won a whopping $18. Our final race and I managed to get my dog (Dark Onyx) in first and recouped $7.40. A good night was had by all. But before I leave the Old Father Inn, I wanted to show you some photos of some of my fellow drinkers (photos taken covertly of course.) And before you ask, yes they are both men.....

Wednesday 12th Dec

Guys, really sorry for the lack of blogging - we have had a few days of really bad weather and it seems to have affected the technology here - or the lack of it! I've not been able to get on for a few days - it's amazing how much you miss your links with the real world until you can't do it anymore!

So, where was I? Well, Cissi has now left the ranch. She flew out of here on Saturday and is spending a few days in LA before flying home to Sweden for the holidays. In mid-January she flies back to LA to begin her new life in the states.

In traditional fashion, Cissi got a farewell "bath" in one of the water troughs (see left). I really think she enjoyed it.

Since Cissi's departure, the weather has got really bad. A storm came in Friday night, lots of rain which has resulted in a lot of flooding out on the trails. We have a main corral where the horses are kept during the day and that whole area is now a huge bog of liquid horse poo. The stench is unbelieveable. It was bad on Friday. It got worse Saturday. Oh and then it rained Sunday too - and yesterday. And if you don't believe, me here's the proof:

I ought to point out at this stage that this particular photo was taken on Friday when the rain hadn't really set in.

In photo (L to R) Marie (volunteer), Carol (Head Wrangler aka The Boss), Jenny (wrangler), Jed (wrangler).

It really has been too wet to take out fast rides and yet I am surprised by how many guests want to do just that - some get quite upset when they are advised that we can only do slow rides. I'm also surprised by the number of people who want to ride in this weather at all. Don't get me wrong, I understand that guests have paid a lot of money to come here but I'm not sure how enjoyable it is to be out on a trail for a couple of hours in torrential rain. We had a scheduled All Day ride yesterday. Hopefully the clue is in the title as to what is involved in this ride. We had 4 cancel before the ride went out (very sensible). 7 go out and then 2 complain that they are getting cold and wet and want to come home. This is 1 hour into an 7 hour ride. I don't blame them for getting cold and wet. I just wish that they had made this decision before they went out - it's not like the bad weather came on all of a sudden. We had to send another wrangler out to bring the riders back.

You may be pleased to hear that I have been brushing up on my nursing skils again. Deringer has some kind of ulcer under his chin and so I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to clean it and pick the scab off and apply some cream on it. Better than that - Grey Cloud now needs doctoring as Buzz did - he too had cancer on his friend which has now been frozen off - which means he now has quite a painful-looking wound that needs to be cleaned daily. I tried to encourage Jimmy, one of the wranglers to help me with this task. His response: "Hell, I can't even look at that without my eyes watering, ain't no way I'm gonna be touching it". Oh, ok, I guess I will do it by myself then.

Sunday 9th Dec (Part I)

Howdy Partners. I think today's post might be quite lengthy so I think I'm gonna have to split it into parts - not because there will be any logic in splitting it, but because our wireless connection is really poor today and I'm going to get very frustrated if I have to keep re-writing the same thing!





So: Part I.....





Well I wanted to give you an update on Roman and his nose - it is healing nicely and no longer looks like a slab of fresh rump steak stuck on the side of his face. And because I am a thoughtful kind of person, I have taken a photo of said nose to illustrate:

As you can see, it seems to be doing pretty well. Which is more that can be said for Cowboy. Another horse had to be put down this week. I'm told that it is not normally like this here - we seem to be having a run of bad luck. Cowboy had problems in the past with the nerves in his back and basically we found him early in the morning unable to get up at all as his back legs were paralysed. Fortunately he was not in any pain or discomfort but there was nothing that could be done for him. Another horse called Grey Cloud was also diagnosed with cancer in the same place as Buzz this week so I guess I will get to practice my "encouragement" skills again at some stage in the very near future.

It's been a busy week here with lots of guests - averaging around 80 guests each day. This has meant a couple of 6am starts. The first thing we do is go out and herd the horses into the Corral. 85 horses in a small corral makes it very cosy. We then need to catch each horse and put certain horses in the grainer to be fed and the rest into their designated space ready to be brushed and saddled. Bearing in mind I am still learning the names of all of the 100+ horses that are used for guests, this part of the day is quite challenging for me. I'm ok when they are all in their "spots" but when they first come in in the morning, it is total carnage. This task is made then more difficult when we have an early start and it is dark in the morning! All the bay and red horses all just look dark brown.

The next challenge is to brush each horse, making sure that they are cleaned of dry sweat, mud etc and to clean and doctor any sores. Again, in the dark this can be quite challenging and so I have mastered the art of "Brushing By Touch". This can prove quite dirty as you are feeling your way around the horse if they have been recently rolling in horse doo doo. It can also be quite embarassing when you think you have brushed them adequately and then when the light is better and you realise that you have missed out whole patches of dirt. Hey Ho.

We've had some lovely guests in this past week. I particularly enjoyed having a drink with two English guests visiting just for the night as part of a week's tour of Arizona. They very kindly updated me on the mess Gordon Brown is making of running the country in my absence. Not that I mean that it would be run any better if I was actually in the UK - I am sure you understand what I am trying to say! The couple were here as they are writing an article for a national broadsheet, travel edition which I'm told is due out in January. I'm told that I will be mentioned in the article - I'm not sure if that is a good thing or not and I guess I will have to wait and see!

Some of our other guests this week have been rather high maintenance. I am convinced that one such guest has a few mental health issues. I came to this conclusion after riding with her on a couple of occasions. The weather has been good here for the best part of the week (more on that later) and was about 80 degrees. Whilst I was walking around in a sleeveless shirt, this particular guest was riding with shirt, big coat, hat, gloves and a scarf wrapped round her face, making her look like some kind of bandit. This, coupled with her erratic and often speedy style of riding, made for a very scary experience. I became convinced of her "issues" when she advised me (as she took a photo on her phone camera of my horses face close-up) that she was designing a calendar of horses lips. I kid you not.

Team Penning was funny too this week - this is when the guests get the chance to work in teams of four to pen three cattle out of a small group of them. The key to success is in the title - TEAM penning. It is quite amazing to see the previously meek and mild ridders turn into the most aggressive competitors as they try and catch their cows and beat the others teams time. One of the guests this week (whom I shall call "Guest B") was definitely a bit of a screamer. You are advised as you get close to the cattle to shout at them but you have to lope down to where the cattle are and Guest B took the opportunity to just let out a continuous, high pitch whooping scream for the duration of her team's penning. I think the cows were scared out of their skins. I was having trouble controlling my laughter. It was a bit of a Meg Ryan moment if you understand me.......

Sunday 2nd December

Greetings! I've had a bit of a "off" week - to cut a very long story short it would seem that I have managed to get Bronchitis. I've not felt that good this week but am feeling much better now and am looking forward to work tomorrow.

I haven't seen Roman to see how his face is, but I am told it is healing nicely. I will try and get an updated photo for you some time in the coming week.

Today I have been taking some photos of a horse called Chayenne - looks like he is going up for sale so I was taking photos of him to put on the web. He is a very good looking horse and was very good natured for me today. It's a shame that he bucked someone off him and broke her back.

I have put this first photo on the blog as I'm not sure that I have actually posted any photos of me sitting on a horse as of yet!

As you can see from the photo, the weather here is good today - it's been a mad couple of days weather-wise, with massive amounts of rain on Thursday night which resulted in flooding everywhere. Today it is nicely sun, although not very hot.

I took this photo from the top of one of the piles of hay (where I was trying to chuck the hay into the cow pen) - this proved difficult as I had my eyes shut cos (a) the hay was flying back into my eyes and (b) I was scared I was going to fall off.

I'm hoping to be back at work tomorrow so I might have some exciting news for you - watch this space!

Monday 26th November

Another week! The Thanksgiving families have departed and things are much quieter here - we had enough time to dunk Kate in a water trough to celebrate her birthday.





You may be pleased to hear that Roman is recovering well from his colic. You may be less pleased to hear that he has a new issue - he came in this morning with a huge rip in his mouth which looked VERY sore. So the vet came out again (they are on first-named terms with each other these days) but unfortunately there is too much tissue damage etc for the rip to be stitched so he just cut the flap out. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUCH. Now, up until this stage, I'm holding Roman still (who, to be fair to him, has been heavily sedated at this stage) and I've managed not to vomit or pass out as the vet injects his ripped mouth to numb the damaged nerves. However as Dr B came towards us with a huge pair of scissors, I made an executive decision to step away from the horse.





Roman now has an open wound on his face which looks nasty and I'm sure is pretty painful. I took a photo so you can see it for yourself....

It will need to be kept clean - a huge challenge in itself as he, um, lives in the desert and we will need to doctor it and give him medication. I will keep you posted as to his progress.

Tonight one of the guests invited Kate and I to have dinner with her. As "staff" we are not allowed into the guest bar or to have dinner with the guests unless we are invited so this was a treat for us. It felt rather strange to be in there actually with all the guests and I felt like I had to be on best behaviour (which obviously for me, comes naturally) so I opted for a Diet Coke. Oh, and now I'm back in our bunkhouse, nursing a gin 'n' tonic. I don't want you to think that that is my usual tipple here but as it was Kate's birthday on Saturday we made a special trip to Wal Mart to buy some celebratory booze.

I'm not sure that the said G & T is helping my cold much as I'm feeling rather congested again. I need to remember to wrap up well tomorrow morning as it was Tres Cold when we went to work this morning. I forgot to pack any coats so I had on a vest, shirt and 2 hoodies and a scarf and I was still wheezing like a 90 year old lady with Emphysema. If anyone has a thermal, waterproof riding jacket that they want to pop in the post for me, that would be great!

It is very pretty here at the ranch as they have just turned on the Christmas lights and as you know, I love Christmas lights! We have coloured ones all around the stables and up near reception there are chilli lights. I'm a bit disturbed by the huge inflatable snowman but otherwise it is all very pretty.

One thing that continues to frustrate me whilst I'm here is my riding ability - I seem to have lost all my confidence. I am in a very fortunate position to be able to ride a variety of horses and yet my nerve seems to have left me and I'm reverting to riding like a complete idiot. Today I have been riding Pete again - he is the horse who belongs to one of the owners and is 25 (but thinks he is 5). I had forgotten how strong he is - we were only out on a slow ride but he got very excited and I could feel myself starting to panic. I talked to Carol, the Head Wrangler about it and suggested to her that I ought to have a drink before I ride. I'm just practicising now with my G & T.

The other highlight of my day was doctoring Buzz. Buzz had cancer on his ......ahem...... and had to have some cut out (OUCH OUCH OUCH) and so every day, Buzz needs to have his "friend" cleaned and cream applied. The issue with this is trying to persuade Buzz to get his "friend" out for you to poke it about. Funnily enough, Buzz isn't showing great willingness in this respect and so we have to coax Buzz's friend out of his shell. Now, I've not led the most exicting of lives but neither is it that sheltered but this job was a new one for me! I won't bore you with the details, but after donning my latex gloves I managed (after some time though!) to successfully complete said task with my humour intact and Buzz's friend, all shiny and clean. Don't worry, I didn't take a picture for you.

Friday 23rd November

Hi, Sorry it has been a while since my last update - things have been rather hectic here. But before I forget, i wanted to try and post the photo of Deuce that I tried to upload last week. Let's see if this works....

Phew, glad i got that one sorted. Now where was I? Well it's been a pretty busy week since I last wrote. I can't remember if I told you that one of the ranch owners, Kristen was competing in a rodeo last Friday and she kindly invited the volunteers to go with her to watch. I've never been to a rodeo so I jumped at the chance and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Kristen took us in her big truck - towing an even bigger horse trailer. 2 horses came for the outing -Wildcat (who was actually entered in the competition) and Apollo (who came along for the ride and to get him used to shows). Wow. What an experience.

Ines and I had a wonder round the area and found the junior rodeo arena where kids of about 4 or 5 years old put on protective helmets and ride on the back of sheep for as long as they can. Very strange to watch. I was also slightly distracted by the two female comentators for this event who were looking very spangly in their outfits:

(Sorry about the photo being the wrong way round!) It turns out that the lady in the silvery glittery number is none other than Miss Rodeo USA - hence I guess she gets to wear the Bet Lynch stuff....

So first of all we watched the macho cowboys doing their bucking bronco stuff. Personally I think you have to be pretty crazy in the head to want to do that kind of thing - can you imagine the kind of pressure it would put on your body? I love the way that they try really hard to walk away like they haven't just been shaken around like a rag doll....

Since the rodeo we have been ultra busy here on the ranch. It is Thanksgiving week and the ranch is at full capacity with guests. There are 3 families that come here each year for Thanksgiving and have been doing so for the last 10/15/21 years - they are very loud, very competitive and just walk around like they own the place. To them I am "just a volunteer" which suits me fine as I don't have to talk to them much!

Wednesday was a very difficult day for me here. I went up to the outer fields to round the horses up early in the morning and found Butch, one of the large draught horses, lying down. I thought he had injured his leg but after some encouragement he got up and trotted down to the barn so I assumed he was just being lazy. As I got down to the barn I saw that he had collapsed again and this time I couldn't get him up - it took 5 of us to get him up and then we had to run him through the barn and out into the main ranch and keep him moving as he wanted to collapse again. He was sweating a lot and his eyes were very bloodshot. After a while he was lying down and trying to roll and clearly in a lot of pain so we called the vet. For 3.5 hours myself and Gry (wrangler) stayed with him, stroking him when he was down, trying to keep him warm and then running with him when he stood up to try and stop him going down again. It was very exhausting. The vet discovered that he had 2 twists in his gut and the only real chance of saving him was an operation but due to his size and age (25) this was unlikely to be successful and so the decision was made to put him down.

I was very upset at this stage - I think it was the right decision to put him to sleep but it was very hard to see him in such pain and not be able to save him despite all our efforts. He was such a gentle giant and I think he really wanted to keep running for us but he just couldn't. I stayed with him until the end and they have buried him with his old partner, Sundance here on then ranch.

About the same time, we discovered another horse (Roman) was also poorly with some kind of colic - I then spent the next 8 hours with him, calming him whilst he had IV meds, walking him to try and ease his gut, stopping him roll etc etc. The vet was also very worried about him and the wranglers did shifts throughout the night to stay with him. I'm pleased to say that he seems to be doing ok - he is drinking a little and his stomach is much less distended now and I am hopeful he will make a full recovery. I think it is safe to say that Wednesday was a very difficult and long day for me and the other staff.

One thing that I did find strange was the guests who seemed intent on staring whilst all this was going on. It's a bit like slowing down to have a good gawp at a car accident. There is one guest (who shall remain nameless) who just stood watching me and Gry trying to calm Butch as he thrashed about on the floor and put blankets under him to try and make him more comfortable. I suggested to said-guest that she might want to go and get some breakfast. Her reply? "i want to brush my horse". "well, we're a little bit busy right now. i think it would be best if you went to get some breakfast and come back another time". AKA "GO AWAY YOU &&***&&(". That made me quite angry.

Yesterday was a little better, and my day was going well. I went on a half day ride with a horse called Korona - very handsome but as I discovered slightly mad, as he proceeded to lie down and roll - whilst I was still riding him. An interesting experience for us both.

I have a stinking cold today and have been feeling rather sorry for myself. It's no fun being sick when you are so far away from home. It's Kate's birthday tomorrow and we are all supposed to be going out for dinner to celebrate so I'm crossing my fingers that I am feeling well enough.

That's all for now folks. I thought I would sign off with a photo of us volunteers (it's just as well these photos don't work like scratch 'n' sniff)....

Thursday 18th Nov (aka the day after Black Wednesday)

Today has been a good day - I had a nice ride this afternoon on Remington. Remington is the horse I rode last year as a guest and he is very sweet. It has been a funny day weather-wise - when we first started work this morning, there were plenty of clouds and also lots of lightening but no thunder.

I managed to hurt my finger this morning whilst grooming the horses. We use a brush called a Curry Comb to help ground the dirt out of the horses coats. Its made of metal rings with lots of little metal teeth on it. I was using it quite furiously and managed to "brush" my finger. Ouch ouch ouch. Curry Comb + finger in the way = bloody and painful finger. Oh well, i guess I can add it to my list of other injuries that I am slowly starting to accumulate.

I wanted to take a minute to tell you about Deuce. Deuce is one of the horses here, ridden when I was last here as a guest by my friend Sam. Deuce had a very runny eye then and has since had an operation on it and this week the vet advised us that he found cancer in the sample that he cut out. He now has to have it dressed 3 times a day and he is very sweet and well behaved whilst we are poking about in his eye and so I thought he deserved a special mention as he is very brave and I like him a lot. I think the vet thinks he has managed to get all the cancer out of his eye so hopefully he will be ok. Here is a photo of me and Deuce:

Oh, no photo of Deuce, cos my PC won't upload it for some reason. Sorry about that.

I have to go now and apply some cream to my mangled finger - laters people x

Monday 12th November

Hello All, I'm back to tell you about my exciting day today. Monday is quite hectic here as it is over the weekend that a lot of guests leave or arrive and thus on Monday there are quite a few new guests to accomodate. This means a flurry of adjusting stirrups, making sure hats have stampede straps and making sure guests are suited to their horses. This last one can be quite tricky to get right and today there were a couple of guests who weren't satisfied with their horses. The thing that I have learnt today is to hold my tongue when they tell you in no uncertain terms that they don't like their horses (especially when the poor horse is not to blame - ever heard the saying "a bad workman blames his tools??!).

Today i have been riding "Pete". He belongs to one of the ranch owners so I have been feeling quite nervous as I feel more responsible for him than some of the other horses. Pete is 25 but thinks he is 5 - he had a LOT of energy today and can be a strong horse. I sense that we might be at the start of what could become a stormy relationship.

I thought you might like to see a photo today of me in my work uniform. I'm looking happy in this picture as I have some magic potion in my hand.....

Incase you are wondering why Cissi (at the front) and Ines (to the right) are pulling funny faces, we were supposed to be showing how tired we were.

What I haven't told you about yet is the horsemanship course that is also going on at the ranch at the moment. It's kind of weird to watch and hard to watch without laughing (I'm guessing the participants won't appreciate me if I was to do that) - it's kind of like a horse-whispering course, getting to know your horse etc. I read the literature for it and they have different topics - one of which is entitled "Intimacy". Now I don't know about you, but I have never been a big fan of beastiality but these guys are getting intimate with their horses and feeling "at one with the horses womb". Other interesting parts of the horse includes ballet in the saddle. All. Very. Strange. I wonder how much they are paying for this???

Sunday 11th November

Yay! I finally had a good nights sleep! I slept pretty much till 6.30am this morning. That in itself is quite unusual for me as usually if I don't have an alarm I can sleep in much later but I guess my body is getting a bit more used to the early mornings. Damn shame thought too as today is my day off! I snoozed until 8.30am and then got up for breakfast.

It's a lovely day here in Tucson, 79 degrees, clear blue skies and a very slight breeze. It's kinda weird having a day off as I feel guilty that I'm not working so I've taken the opportunity to clean my room, the bathroom and wash the floors. Those of you that know me know that this is also a very weird thing for me to do! Anyways i took some photos of the house I'm living in so you can get more of an idea of where I am!

The first photo is of my bedroom - quite neat for me huh?? and the 2nd one is of our "lounge area". What I have quite quickly realised is as soon as you wash the floor or sweep it, it gets covered in dust everywhere as it just seeps into the building and covers your clothes, your bed, everything! I am finding that i am coughing quite a bit but hopefully I will get used to it.

Wednesday was quite a low day for me - I felt very tired and my feet were so sore with blisters. Thursday was a lot better and three of us volunteers (Ines, Cissi and I) drove to Wikenburg for our Volunteer Appreciation Day. It should have taken us nearly 3 hours but the rode we were due to come off of was closed for roadworks and there was no signs for divertion so we had to find a place to turn round, come right back down and head up another main road. To cut a very long story short, we finally arrived at our hotel at just gone 1am - we set out at about 7.45pm (although we did stop for a Maccy D's on the way).

It was great to be away from the dust for the night and we spent the morning looking round Wikenburg. On the whole people were very welcoming towards us until they found out what I did for a living (in the real world) and then I kind of got the feeling that I was gonna be "rode out of town"........

So we had to leave Wikenburg pretty quickly. We spent the afternoon in Phoenix undertaking a serious bout of shopping. Eventually we decided we ought to had back to the ranch and so we made our way home.

Yesterday was probably my best day of work so far - I think havin the friday off probably had something to do with that and also knowing that we had today off work too also helped. I also wore my new work boots (very feminine I can assure you) and so my feet weren't so sore!

I had a nice night last night as i went out for dinner with Cissi and Jenny, one of the wranglers. We went to an Italian restaurant called Olive Garden. The restaurants here have HUGE servings but I am somehow managing to work my way through the food. It's a hard job but someone has to do it.

Wednesday 7th November

Greetings Fellow Earthlings, don't you think it's weird that I am here in Arizona, having had my dinner, working on my blog whilst you guys are sleeping peacefully in your beds (lucky buggers).

I have been shovelling lots of horse doo-doo today. I took the chore to "rake the road" which is a polite way of saying "go and pick up horse shit". Despite the smell, it's actually quite a nice chore as you do it about 5pm and the sun is starting to go down and it's cool and quiet. The cool part is particularly important as it has been 90 degrees here today. 90 degrees and I've been wearing boots, jeans and a long sleeved shirt, and scrubbing out a huge water trough. Oh and that was a really grim job. The water trough definitely needed cleaning out as it had lots of algae in it so we got rid of the water and discovered that the algae wasn't the only thing living in the water trough. I discovered a whole science lesson ready to go in the damn thing. Mainly hundreds of bright red worms which took a firm liking to my hand. They were disgusting. But after much scrubbing, some silent screaming and lots of sweating the water trough was as clean as a swimming pool. Well, sort of.

So, I guess you are all dying to hear what I have learnt today: Well I have learnt that the breast collar always goes on last, and comes of first. I bet you guys are glad that I shared that little gem with you.

x

Tuesday 6th November

Oh My God. I think every bone in my body is aching. Some more than others - those being my back, my left foot (aka "biffa foot" to my friends-in-the-know), my right knee and my head. I'm guessing there could be some kind of arguement here that my head is not a muscle but to be honest with you, I'm too tired to argue - I'm guessing that too might come as a bit of a surprise to some of you!

So I have just survived Day 2 as a wrangler. We started work @ 5.30am this morning. Ouch. I am not what you may consider a "morning person" so this was particularly hard for me. We finished @ 5.30 this evening. I felt a bit less of a waste of space today than I did yesterday. The wranglers are so busy it's hard for them to find time to show you what to do so it really is a case of watching, watching, trying, getting it wrong, trying and praying to God that you get it right.

For those of you who are interested we have a routine which is built around the guest rides and then there are the chores. First thing in the morning the horses are herded in and those that need grain go in the graining barn and those that are being used for rides are tied up at their allotted post. That initself is a challenge for me as I don't know the names of the horses, and I don't know where they live. You then brush all the horses and they are saddled up ready for their rides. When the guests come over you help them on their horse and you can escort them/the wrangler on the ride.
When they come back you help them dismount and then take their horse back to its' spot (and that problem arises again!). In between the rides the chores have to be done - feeding the rodeo cattle - first getting huge bales of grass and hay from the hay barn. I couldn't lift the bales - they are huge. I had to then get up on top of a huge pile of bales and chuck down hay into one of the cattle pens. I missed quite a lot. Mainly cos I had my eyes shut at the time of chucking them as I was so scared of being up so high. Oh and then I couldn't get down cos I was scared of falling so one of the wranglers had to come up and coax me down - very embarassing. So after giving all the cattle their hay and grain you go up to the big barn and lay down hay all around the outside for the horses later that night.
I will take you through the other chores another day but first I wanted to introduce to you my theme for my blog - lessons of the day:

Today: I have learnt about how to open and close a pen knife. I have learnt how to loosen a cinch and finally, I have learnt to button my shirt to the top and keep my eyes closed when distributing the hay otherwise I wear half of it down my top and the other half of it in my eyes.
Ouch.

Ok I need to sign off now as I have to go and get some sleep. More exciting news tomorrow.

PS Is there anyone actually reading this apart from Horseface?!

Sunday 4th November 2007

Hi Guys, or should I say "howdy". Well, I was right in thinking that I would wake up thinking I was at home. I was wrong when I said this would all turn out to be a dream.

I slept ok until about 4am and then that was it, which is surprising and somewhat disappointing as I was feeling absolutely exhausted. I woke up feeling quite nervous and anxious about what lies ahead but it's fair to say that I've had a good first day so far. I guess before I get into my day I ought to set the scene here for those of you that haven't been here before.

Well, I'm working as a volunteer at a ranch in Arizona. It's a working cattle ranch that allows guests to stay. There are 42 guest rooms and I think over 150 horses. I'm sharing a house with 4 other volunteer wranglers: Cissi (my Swedish friend who I met here at the ranch as a guest a couple of years ago), Ines (german girl who has been here since the late summer), Marie (german girl who arrived here 3 days ago) and Kate (a Scottish lady who arrived the night before me). Cissi and Ines have been here long enough to know what is going on and so there are three of us who haven't got a scooby what is going on and so for us the adventure is only just beginning.

The house we are living in has 5 bedrooms so at the moment we each have our own room and are not sharing. There are 2 bathrooms, a living and kitchen area. There are other staff houses just around this one too.

The guests can ride six days a week - Sunday is the horses day off and so it it the volunteer wranglers day off so tomorrow I start work. More about that later, let me tell you about today.

Cissi arranged for us to go shooting with our friend Ralph who had a shooting range on his farm. This experience has to figure in my top 10 weirdest experiences. This is me with my 40 Gloc.

(I shot the sucker right in the heart!)

I found it quite scary and whilst enjoyable I was quite tense. Some of the guns I fired where pretty powerful. Ralph's uncle was a SWAT police officer and now trains the SWAT shooters so he came along and showed us the ropes.

I found some of the rifles hard to hold and when they get heavy I couldn't hold my aim properly but there were no accidents you may be relieved to hear. The gun that I had the hardest time with was the machine gun - automatic - I had to really struggle to get the trigger to fire. A truly mad experience and I pulled a lot of faces as the guns were going off! As illustrated in the photo to the left.

Still good fun was had by all and I've made a mental note never to upset Cissi as she was a good shot.

Saturday 3rd November

Ok, this is all really weird. I'm writing this as I lie in my bed in my bedroom. In Arizona. This really doesn't feel real. The last couple of days in Blighty just flew by as I struggled to get everything done that I should have and before I knew it, I was being driven to the airport this morning in the early fog, still half-asleep. 2 flights and 2 arguements with security guards later, I arrive at Tucson Airport where I am met by Adam who drives me back to the ranch and drops me and my bags in my new home for the next couple of months.

Lucky for me my friend Cissi is "home" to welcome me - along with another new volunteer, Kate. I unpack a few things, say hello to the other volunteers and we head to get some dinner. We've made a trip to Wal Mart (I love that shop) and I've bought some necessities (Bud Light) and some luxuries (deo, shampoo etc) and have just finished my unpacking. I have to say this all feels very strange and I'm convinced when I wake up in the morning, I will be staring up at the ceiling in my house back in Blighty and this will all have been a bit of a bizarre dream.

I will have to let you know if that is the case...

Wednesday 31st October 2007

Happy Halloween!!

I was trying to find a photo of a black cat or a witch or something but I couldn't find one on my PC (funny that, I mean why would i have stored a photo of a witch???) so instead, after some consideration, a photo of my friend's cat. Please meet Kimba. Kimba, whilst not entirely black, does seem to have some halloween-type characteristics. For example, Kimba can play the role of being possessed like the Devil, showing sometimes quite vicious tendancies. She has sharp teeth like a vampire (I say that from personal experience) and like a mummy who can't hear 'cos their ears are wrapped up in toilet roll (or whatever they use) she has the ability to offer "selective hearing". That said, she can be very sweet to. When she's sleeping.

Just before I move on from Halloween, I thought you might like to know that I was visited by no less than 6 ghouls this evening. 6 aero's later, I sent them on their merry way. It got me wondering what Jamie Oliver would be offering the trick or treaters that dare to knock on his door tonight? I'm pretty sure he won't be handing out the Turkey Twizzlers but surely Jamie can't be mean enough to open the door with a plateful of dried apricots can he??

Today I watched Jeremy Kyle at the gym whilst on the treadmill. Well, I wasn't on the treadmill for the whole of the show (it does go on for an hour you know) but I did manage to get the gist of today's saga - a request for a lie detector test to prove to the twice-cheating girlfriend that her six - ten-times-cheating boyfriend wasn't also gay. It seems that ITV are indeed making cuts to pay for their phone-in cheating fine as Jeremy refused to pay for a lie detector test! outrageous!

The highlight of my dad was one of the instructors at the gym approaching me to comment on my loss of weight - I could have kissed him!

Sorry, got distracted off the point then. Now where was I? Oh yes, Jeremy Kyle. I was reflecting on the programme and how boring my life was in comparison when I had the good fortune to meet up with an old friend and work colleague, who shall remain nameless, but who's work life could put the guests on Jeremy Kyle to shame. Not his own life I hasten to add, but the numerous colleagues that he works with, or who work for him and who seem to be doing their fair share of "overtime" if you understand what I am saying. I think in order to even try and compete with the excitement that seems to be occuring in other's lives, I am going to have to make some stuff up.

As you can tell from the late hour of this blog, this lady of leisure is having a few "time management" issues, trying to fit all the things i need to do into the days before I head off to be a cowgirl. On that note, I need to go and finish writing a letter for my dad.

Night.

Tuesday 30th October

Well I have to say Jeremy was being rather self-righteous this morning. I'm surprised the guest who failed the lie detector test didn't lump him one.

So what else have I been up to today? I've been a lady what lunches! Oh and a lady what dinners! That doesn't sound right does it? Lunch with my dad and the significant other at a pub next to the river. Enjoying the late October sunshine with the over 90's population of Surrey. A rather pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

This evening I met up with two of my mates to put the world to rights - and completely destroy my Slimming World diet plan for the day. Hey Ho. I must go the gym tomorrow. Before I meet my friend Andrew for lunch :o)

Monday 29th October 2007

Welcome to my New Blog. A new chapter in my life. After long consideration (of at least 30 seconds) I have decided to call this Blog "City Slicker". For reasons that I hope to become obvious. My online name is "RoadRunner", hence the photo above.

So, let me set the scene for this new job. I am now unemployed. I resigned my job and as from today I am now longer entitled to be referred to as "working class". Instead I am officially a fully paid up member of the "I Love Jeremy Kyle" fan club.

It feels kind of weird. I think it's gonna take a couple of days to sink is as things moved quickly at the end but for now, I'm looking forward to the future and for me, that means one thing: I'm about to become a City Slicker.

Now, i've not actually ever seen the film. But, i've been to a Dude Ranch in Arizona as a guest 3 times and each time at least one fellow guest has asked me if I was inspired to visit the ranch as a result of watching City Slickers. Um, no I respond. I found it on Trip Advisor, I explain. It doesn't seem to bother them how I respond, because by this stage they are too busy talking me through various scenes in the film. I really need to watch that blasted film as I haven't got a clue what they are talking about.

So, I have just booked my flights. This Saturday I am off to Tucson, Arizona, courtesy of American Airlines. I'm off to work on a ranch for a couple of months as a volunteer and the purpose of this blog is to let you know how I'm getting on and for you to tell me about what I'm missing at home. I cannot at this stage guarantee you that this will be an interesting or entertaining blog but I promise to try and make it honest and if an insight into the working of my mind, isn't enough to hold your attentio and make you laugh, well then I don't know what is.

So, get your chaps at the ready, it's time to saddle up......